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beled_el_djinnBeen stupidly depressed these past few... days? weeks? months? Hard to say although I don't think that it has been more than a month. If it wasn't happening to me, I'd think it was kind of funny (okay, I think it is kind of funny anyway) that my mind really clings to this like a drowning man to anything that floats better than he does. I wonder if this is how bipolar people feel when they are in a manic phase - that need to hold on and ride the roller coaster no matter where it takes you or how dangerous the tracks ahead might look.
I wish I knew what triggered all of this. As my love pointed out to me, this seemed to start around when I got sick last month - don't worry, I'm fine. Teh sickness is more annoying than life threatening - but I think that there is more involved than just that. Friday was the 9th anniversary of my dad's death. I didn't realize that little fact until Saturday and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about just spacing that. For those of you just joining the show, I have a few issues centering around my father and not getting those resolved before his death wasn't the best thing for everyone involved. Not that I do anything special on his death day, usually, I just sort of reflect on how my life has changed since that milestone or maybe go visit his grave. Still, forgetting it wasn't really a good thing for me I think.
There's more to this, but I'm done sharing for the moment.
I'm out.
I wish I knew what triggered all of this. As my love pointed out to me, this seemed to start around when I got sick last month - don't worry, I'm fine. Teh sickness is more annoying than life threatening - but I think that there is more involved than just that. Friday was the 9th anniversary of my dad's death. I didn't realize that little fact until Saturday and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about just spacing that. For those of you just joining the show, I have a few issues centering around my father and not getting those resolved before his death wasn't the best thing for everyone involved. Not that I do anything special on his death day, usually, I just sort of reflect on how my life has changed since that milestone or maybe go visit his grave. Still, forgetting it wasn't really a good thing for me I think.
There's more to this, but I'm done sharing for the moment.
I'm out.
