beled_el_djinn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
beled_el_djinn) wrote2008-09-09 12:43 am
beled_el_djinn) wrote2008-09-09 12:43 am
I was trying so hard to please myself...
Tonight I went to the WPI practice for the first time in way too long and while I'm as sore as if I spent a whole weekend as an NPC, I feel pretty darned good.
I must admit to some trepidation with my decision to attend practice - in the few times I've been back to Realms events, I've always felt the awful weight of everyone's ideas on who I am, what they think I am capable of, etc... and I found it hard to live up to my weird legend. But tonight, I think for the first time in, what, 15 years?, I didn't get the "Oh, you're Meerkat!" reaction that I've come to dread, and I can't even describe how awesome that felt. It was nice to be just a face in a crowd of mostly n00bs and earn people's respect based on my (rusty) skills - Oh, Accelerant how you have wronged me! - and not my reputation.
I've got a lot to re-learn, and even more to learn, but I think I've found a great group of folks who can help me with that. So it looks like for the foreseeable future, my Mondays will be spoken for.
I must admit to some trepidation with my decision to attend practice - in the few times I've been back to Realms events, I've always felt the awful weight of everyone's ideas on who I am, what they think I am capable of, etc... and I found it hard to live up to my weird legend. But tonight, I think for the first time in, what, 15 years?, I didn't get the "Oh, you're Meerkat!" reaction that I've come to dread, and I can't even describe how awesome that felt. It was nice to be just a face in a crowd of mostly n00bs and earn people's respect based on my (rusty) skills - Oh, Accelerant how you have wronged me! - and not my reputation.
I've got a lot to re-learn, and even more to learn, but I think I've found a great group of folks who can help me with that. So it looks like for the foreseeable future, my Mondays will be spoken for.
no subject
Unless you know you're fighting chodes. ;)
Be well.
no subject