beled_el_djinn: (Homework)
Today's horoscope:

"Tuesday, Nov 9th, 2010 -- You might want the fun times to last forever, but of course they cannot. However, this doesn't mean that you are headed for troubled waters; it's just that your exuberant energy needs to mellow out. If you consider what you have, though, you'll realize that there are many good things in your life, even if fireworks aren't lighting up the sky. There's no need to wait for something better to happen; share your love with those in your life who deserve it right now."

Rick, you marvelous bastard. Why is it that you manage to hit the nail right on the head whenever I get this way?
beled_el_djinn: (Eye2)
A man once said that "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you might find you can get what you need". In light of the past week I'd have to say that truer words were never spoken, although I am at a loss as to why I needed a tornado and obliterated break hose.

The Walkabout Experiment went pretty well (for those of you who didn't know, I was off wandering the wilds of Western NY all last week). I'm still processing a lot of what I experienced, but I can definitely say that I am much better for having taken the trek. Still, it is wonderful to be home now. Although I miss the relaxed atmosphere and all the new people I met, I was seriously missing my love and the baby. I managed to miss his first word and steps, which was sad, but the look on his face this morning when I went in to wake him up erased most of that in an instant.

Now I just need to catch up on all the sleep I didn't get and let the bruises on the soles of my feet heal, and I'll be all happy. Speaking of sleep...
beled_el_djinn: (Happy)
There are just some songs which bring a smile to my face and lift my mood , no matter how dark it has become. Counting Crows' Mrs. Potter's Lullaby is one of those songs for me. The other, which I just discovered worked as well is this:



The week started out on a low point for me, but I watched this last night and all the bad things I was seeing and all the negativity I felt just stopped mattering so much. Gotta love that.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
One of the downsides to daycare? Not being able to go and hug your child whenever you want to without first having to drive to get there.
beled_el_djinn: (Mindscape)
I feel restless today. Every hint of a breeze sends a longing through me to be free. I want to run from the house and out into the world. I want to roam forests and lounge on the banks of clear streams. I want to let loose a cry that echoes across the land my song of freedom.

I want.
beled_el_djinn: (Content)
Doing ball crunches while having a baby trying to climb on you makes for some interesting times, I have to say.

In other news, I got to do yard work for the first time in almost a year, it seems. I find it odd that I look on this as a treat, since I really do kind of hate doing yard work. Of course, the fact that I was out of the house, not watching the baby, and getting to enjoy the weather may have had something to do with it.
beled_el_djinn: (Content)
Feeling a bunch better compared to last week's emotional roller coaster, so yay. Still sort of feeling squirrely, but I've got a plan for that and I think I realized the root of the problem, so I can take steps to deal.

All that said, this isn't the reason for me posting.

Today, for the first time ever, the baby clapped his hands and actually made a tiny clapping sound. He's been making the motion for the past two days now, but without sound. It was so cute and I wish I could have captured it on video, since when he realized that I was excited, he face lit up in a beautiful smile and he redoubled his clapping efforts. I just about died from being pwnd by the cuteness.

One of the most wonderful things about being a parent is that no matter how down or tired or at the end of my rope I feel, he has the power to just made that not matter with a smile or little antic.
beled_el_djinn: (Homework)
Setbacks on the sewing project lead me to believe that I won't have it done in time for the event on Saturday, so in the words of Jack Burton, "fuck it!". I'll finish it up within the next couple of weeks and not stress any more.

Lessons learned on this:

Trying to start the project 1 month before the event is usually a good idea, but for the next few years, I think I'm going to have to start them 2+ months before the event to account for sick children, sick parents who were infected by said sick children, and any other random wackyness that happens. Considering how often our weekends get eaten up by the baby/parenting schtuff, it isn't a wonder that coupled with the flooding, this never got finished, especially with the issue with the garment I ran into last night.

As an added bonus, this give me more time to work on work :-/ The project that I've been trying to work on all week is due tomorrow and now that I'm actually making progress, I'm running into issues with the billing software we're using, so what should have been about a 2 hour job is looking like it will take me another 3 hours to reconcile. :-/ x 2. Looks like another late night for me. But at least I can duck out early tomorrow. Yay for being an hourly employee or something.

I'm so looking forward to the event on Saturday. I don't care if I have to fight corn and other vegetables for 7 hours straight followed by 6 hours of GRP about laws we should enact as the student body; the escapism will do me some good.
beled_el_djinn: (Anger)
I mean a really real lot.

For the record, I am filled with hate for Period Patterns.

That is all.
beled_el_djinn: (Anger)
This working from home/daycare thing? It is killing me today.

I need to win the lottery so I can actually enjoy my time with the baby during the work day. Of course, if I won the lottery, I suspect both my love will both rock the stay at home dance, so it wouldn't just be me enjoying the daytimes with the baby.

Dreams of becoming filthy rich aside, maybe I'll just hope my prayers of a 2 hour nap happening are answered.

I wonder if there is a local support group for stay at home fathers who also work from home. I think some sympathetic ears from folks in the same situation would do wonders for my current feelings of frustration.

Meh.

/whine
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
By Grabthar's Hammer ...what a savings. I'm tired and sore.

Despite many things going not-so-right, the new guest room is, for the most part, done. I still need to re-hang the trim around the doors and install baseboards, but the walls are up and painted, the ceiling is mostly crack free and has a fresh coat of paint, and the carpet is in. Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] sithlorddarren, [livejournal.com profile] noradannan, [livejournal.com profile] funwithrage, [livejournal.com profile] mechasquid, [livejournal.com profile] jameyhasnolj, [livejournal.com profile] conspiratrix, [livejournal.com profile] vogan999, [livejournal.com profile] eclecticgypsie, and [livejournal.com profile] russiandude for all the help provided - y'all helped me get through the rough spots and the despair at ever getting things finished before the baby arrived.

Did a little cleanup with my love tonight, but for the rest of the day, I was a lazy shit. I realized late Saturday night that I was tapped out in terms of stress management and was ready to (and shamefully did in one or two cases) snap a folks who didn't deserve it. Spending today watching Day Watch and playing MoM made things a lot better. The fact that I took today for the 4th of July holiday also helped, I'm sure.

So now, I get to move into Phase II of Operation Impending Baby, which pretty much entails moving all the furniture out of the old guest room and down into the new guest room, end then painting the old guest room. This will then segue into Phase III, which entails picking up the baby furniture and setting it up in the baby's room. All in all, not a lot more to do, but as seems to be the rallying cry surrounding getting things ready, I'll need some help.

If anyone is available any night this week to help move a dresser (mercifully light), a queen sized bed (also light), and an entertainment center (sadly, not light at all), I'd be, as always, eternally grateful. I can feed you and ply you with tasty alcohol and also promise to at least try and use one of the letters of your name when we name the baby.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
The end of an inning?

Okay, really, the title is just there to let me play with the strike tag.

I do, however, have something momentous to share with y'all.

I JUST PAID OFF MY STUDENT LOAN!!!

Word to your mother's dentist, bitches. I don't have to give any more money to the now defunct Plato Loan Service. I'd say that Wells Fargo can suck it (they bought out Plato), but they own part of my house, so for the moment, I have nothing but nice things to say about them.

I suppose I should say something pithy about the young man I was 8 years and 2 months ago, but really, there isn't much I can write that will sum up one of the best and worst things I've ever done and how it helped to shape me. Suffice it to say that that loan has felt like an albatross around my neck for the past 7 and a half years. The joy I feel at the lifting of it's burden can not be adequately expressed in words.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
Ze weekend is over. Long live the weekend.

Was a mixed bag of good and not as good as it could have been. This was most likely due to my energy feeling all scattered - the physical manifestation of this was that I felt like I was fighting off a bad cold. Hooray for being run down :-/

On the plus side, I did get to hang out with folks on Friday night and wander the MoS (where its fun to dry out!).

On the minus side, most of the rest of the weekend was a wash. Managed to do a couple of loads of laundry and purchase tax software, but didn't get through all the laundry (and mad props should go to my Love for being a folding dynamo, btw), or actually do taxes.

Got a lot what needs accomplishing in the coming weeks, so hopefully, I can pull my shit together and get it all done.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
I'm sore and my ears are ringing, but I'm happy and I no longer feel feral.

Tonight was just what I needed.

Cary on citizens.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
Apropos my trip to the BPL yesterday, I find it weird just how happy a trip to the library makes me. I feel like a small child being allowed to do something important for the first time. Anyone else get that, or is it just me?
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
Probably of interest to none of you but me, it would seem that I'm fully healed up from my rotator cuff injury as I'm back to my old tricks of picking up on the emotional & physical output around me. I find it funny that the only times I'm really flying 'blind' as it were, are when I'm injured - something about my own pain overriding anything else coning in. Its a mercy, I suppose, as the idea of the pain I was feeling with the cuff injury coupled with the serious amount of back pain I've been experiencing on the behalf of others would seriously have made the baby Jesus cry.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
Today is not a good day for concentration. Every time I get up a head of steam I get sidetracked by either a phone call or IM and it takes me a couple of minutes to mentally regroup. Meh. Maybe a walk around the building will help.

Okay, I'm done whining, time for a quick break/checkup from the neckup (as the great D-Train used to say), and then back to the salt mine. I'd dearly love to get out of hear by 5 tonight.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
So New Years has come and gone and here I am standing on the other side of it, wondering at the oddly snaking path of 2009.

I'm making progress on my goals for 2009. Slow progress, to be sure, when viewed through the lens of where I want to be, but I shouldn't belittle the progress or the rate thereof. As I so often council in DV, I must take the long view in this - every step of this journey teaches me something about myself and skipping any of them will mean a different outcome when all is said and done.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
While I won't make resolutions at new years (doing so is, in my mind, akin to telling my wife "I love you" on Valentine's day because Hallmark told me I should), there are some things that I feel I should work on in the coming months, and if all goes well, these will become habit in the coming year. This list is for my own edification, so if you don't care then stop reading now.

1. Stop finding excuses to work from home every day and stick to my 3 day / 2 day every other week schedule. Having a consistent schedule is good for me, dammit.

2. Run at least twice a week and do floor work at least three times a week. Also attend Monday practices. My shoulder is healed at this point and I always feel better when I'm consistently exercising and I look hawt when I'm ripped. Besides, having a consistent schedule is good for me, dammit.

3. Find a new mode of being. Having dealt with depression for so long, I continue to interact with the world the way I always have, even though I've got the whole depression thing in control for the first time ever. This will be a hard habit to break, but I know I can if I'm just mindful of how I'm behaving.

4. Be more social. even if it just means calling an old friend or IMing someone. I am a social creature and I always feel better after hanging out with/talking with friends.
beled_el_djinn: (Homework)
In an effort to explore alternatives to regulating my depression with drugs, I've started up acupuncture treatment. After just one treatment, I'm noticing some interesting effects. Most notably that I actually slept well* for the first time in far too long and that maybe I should have gone to get acupuncture prior to me getting new glasses as my eyes don't feel nearly as tired today as they normally do and everthing is kind of blurry with my glases on. I'll have to keep an eye on the latter, ha ha. I'm not noticing much on the depression front at the moment, but I'm not expecting a miracle cure, but I have been feeling really mellow since being stuck, so maybe thats a good sign. On the down side, I've been having a serious jones for a cream horn ever since my appointment. I'm not sure if this is just coincidence, but if it isn't I may gain back all the weight I just put off.

I'm going to stick with this for at least 6 weeks, so I guess we'll see how this works out by then.

*by slept well, I mean I woke up actually feeling well rested as opposed to tired and drained.

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August 2012

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