beled_el_djinn: (Default)
Soooo, my last Madrigal...

It is funny, since Madrigal 2 started, I had been having a really hard time getting invested in the ongoing plotlines - I felt a huge disconnect between Krengal and the world (and PCs) around him and had been questioning continuing playing since before we found out Little Bobby Tables was on the way. Still, I kept on coming back, all the while trying to figure out the why of my issue before making the choice to either continue playing or drop the game. In the end, I realized that it was that my needs as a player had changed. The lure of doing mighty deeds and fighting epic battles so that the world would be safe for the common folk once more, had lost some of it's shine. I still believe in those concepts and still celebrate their existence in the games that we play, but I've begun to value more and more the little deeds, the ones that, when all was said and done, didn't mean anything to anyone other than those involved in the scene, and weren't needed to be accomplished in order to win the day. Those moments where everyone involved got to explore what made us humam (or elf or shoathri or whatever), those were the moments I craved. Ironically, when I stumbled into the things [ profile] tashewolf and [ profile] cointeach are running, I had already realized that I wasn't going to be able to keep playing once the baby arrived. Yay timing!

I'd have loved to have seen where the things Krengal was involved with would have gone, but I have to say, that his exit was wonderfully fitting for him. In the end, there was no explosion, no blaze of glory, just business as usual as he picked up his hat and headed out the door for yet another adventure.
beled_el_djinn: (larping)
Madrigal... damn, I'm tired and sore. That being said, I had a really great time. For the past half year or so, I've been feeling a lack of excitement when it came to larping; I'd go to events, but was feeling this disconnect from the games where the fun I was having was outweighed by this ennui. It got to the point where I just didn't want to go any more to anything. Going into this weekend, I was feeling trepidatious and wasn't sure I wanted to suffer through a lot of rain for something that wasn't giving me much satisfaction, but I felt I had to show up for the impending shaman shindig since folks were counting on me being there.

I am so glad I went to this event. Yes, there was a lot of rain - what is it about the Festival of the Dead and rain these past couple of years? - and predictably I didn't get enough sleep, but I haven't felt this engaged by a game in a long, long while. I feel like I recaptured some of that magic when larping was shiny and new to me. While I have to applaud the staff for their part in my rekindled excitement ([ profile] tashewolf rocks the discotheque if y'all didn't know), the various new players with whom I interacted this weekend also did wonders for me. Also, a special "thank you" needs to go out to [ profile] annthemun, who made, for the first time in my career as Krengal, getting into my makeup well worth the effort.

My mind is awhirl with thoughts and plans for the next event, and I can hardly wait for the revel (we're going to have one of these this year, right [ profile] outlawblade?) and next year's season opener. While the delay will leave me champing at the bit, it does give me time to put together a few projects and maybe get a move on working on the costume alterations I've been considering for a bit now.

Ok, time for me to go fall over now, and then dive right in to Aralis prep. Please gods, let me get enough rest this week so that I'm not a total wreck by the end of next weekend.
beled_el_djinn: (Ookla)
So, just like years ago when we were kicked out of Darkvale, Shadowfane was evacuated previous to any actual festivities.

I'm bummed, since I was really looking forward to playing this weekend, but I'm sure that the staff is feeling more sad than I am. So, instead of me rubbing salt in anyone's wounds by bitching about how much fun I could have had, I'll just say, "I'm sorry guys. You went through a ton of effort to make a great event and didn't get to run it and as much as that sucks for us players, it sucks doubly for you."

Of course this does give me the opportunity to perfect Field Mouse 2.0. Yay.

Friday night's impromptu party was a fun exercise in seeing folks in a non-larp environment. Apropos a conversation with [ profile] rowan_syngwyn, I've determined that I really should work on some sort of mental/emotional shields for just such occasions. Given the difficulties I've been having with the medication and the sheer amount of unguarded emotions running around at the party, I went home with a head full of thoughts I didn't really need to have. If only there was school for stuff like this.

The rest of the weekend has consisted of puttering around with my love, shepherding the cats, and horrifying [ profile] hilariarex with my A2 punishment module thoughts. Good times, yo.

I'm out.
beled_el_djinn: (Homework)
So, some Madrigal-like thoughts...

I came off the weekend on sort of a mellow note. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast - the heinous weather only adding to the atmosphere - but I realized that somewhere along the way, Krengal had become a support character. He's the guy who will find out the information/help with the ritual/have the right words of encouragement/make sure that the information gets to the people who need it, so that other people can go off and be the hero, not him. weird.
I'm not complaining, mind you, about how the character has developed; I sense that Krengal is still growing/evolving into whatever it is he will end up being, and really, where is the fun in starting out as a hero? Part of what makes the character so fun to play is that his story isn't just a straight line toward greatness. Krengal's story meanders, and much like a cat, travels exactly where it wants to go in it's own time.
beled_el_djinn: (Default)
This made me think of the coming weekend.

a billion words ago
the sailors disappeared
a story for the children
to rock them back to sleep

a million burning books
like torches in our hands
a fabric of ideals
to decorate our homes

a thousand generations
the soil on which we walk
a mountain of mistakes
for us to climb for pleasure

a hundred clocks are ticking
the line becomes a circle
spin the wheel of fortune
or learn to navigate

a choir full of longing
will call our ships to port
the countless lonely voices
like whispers in the dark

a second of reflection can
take you to the moon
the slightest hesitation can
bring you down in flames

a single spark of passion
can change a man forever
a moment in a lifetime
is all it takes to break him

a fraction of a heartbeat
made us what we are
a brother and a sister
for better or for worse

a billion words ago
they sang a song of leaving
an echo from the chorus
will call them back again

a choir full of longing
will call our ships to port
the countless lonely voices
like whispers in the dark

tonight we light the fires
we call our ships to port
tonight we walk on water
and tomorrow we'll be gone


Could it be that I'm begining to get excited?


beled_el_djinn: (Default)

August 2012



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